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ladycrystallineMy old blogging account where I would post my very private posts has been deleted. :( 7 years of blogging gone just like that. I cannot express the sadness I feel right now.
But anyways. I won't let that stop me.
I hope LJ won't go away like Xanga.
Anyways, I'm attending college right now and so far, there has been many struggles.
During the first month of college, I began to develop a crush on my friend's guy friend. This was not a good thing because my friend already liked him. It was very painful to suppress my feelings for him because she was my best friend and it was the very first time I actually liked someone ever, and I couldn't even say it.
That dilemma was two months ago. Even though she recently gave up on him, I still feel like I shouldn't tell her that I liked him.
But I still feel like I could like him because he is the first guy who shared so many of the same interests as me. HE LISTENS SHIROTA YU. LIKE, HOLY CRAP. And he watched HANAZAKARI NO KIMITACHI E IKEMEN PARADISE. He listens to more K-pop, but that's fine because I listen to K-pop as well. He isn't an ikemen, but that doesn't matter because he dresses well and seems to take college seriously. He shares the same last name as me too! He loves Krystal Jung from f(x). MY NAME IS THE SAME AS HERS. THERE ARE SO MANY HINTS. LIKE, OMG I CANNOT NOT IGNORE THEM. He watches a TON of Korean Dramas. He is Chinese (and I am Chinese). He knows Japanese (and I know a little myself). He knows Korean (I know a little bit of that too). GOOD GOD. I wish I could tell my best friend all of this, but I can't. And she hints to me how I never really talk about guys. "GURL, I WANNA TELL YOU. I REALLY WISH I COULD. BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO HATE ME. AND I DON'T WANT TO EFF UP OUR FRIENDSHIP."
(for once, I'm fangirling over a real guy omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg)
There's so much internal struggle that I feel that if I hangout with her too much, my heart will explode.
When I realized I had liked him, I cried like crazy inside.
I couldn't sleep.
I couldn't eat with my BF like normally.
And when He comes around to say hi, I avoid looking at him.
But he likes someone else. That's what my BF told me. She said that she gave up on him because he told her that he liked someone else. Ends up that he likes her best friend (which is not me. its this happa girl from school). Apparently, this happa girl doesn't feel the same towards him. She thinks of him as an older brother. So yeah.
I think there is a slight chance that he and I could be something.
But I don't know what to do or how to make that happen.
But anyways. I won't let that stop me.
I hope LJ won't go away like Xanga.
Anyways, I'm attending college right now and so far, there has been many struggles.
During the first month of college, I began to develop a crush on my friend's guy friend. This was not a good thing because my friend already liked him. It was very painful to suppress my feelings for him because she was my best friend and it was the very first time I actually liked someone ever, and I couldn't even say it.
That dilemma was two months ago. Even though she recently gave up on him, I still feel like I shouldn't tell her that I liked him.
But I still feel like I could like him because he is the first guy who shared so many of the same interests as me. HE LISTENS SHIROTA YU. LIKE, HOLY CRAP. And he watched HANAZAKARI NO KIMITACHI E IKEMEN PARADISE. He listens to more K-pop, but that's fine because I listen to K-pop as well. He isn't an ikemen, but that doesn't matter because he dresses well and seems to take college seriously. He shares the same last name as me too! He loves Krystal Jung from f(x). MY NAME IS THE SAME AS HERS. THERE ARE SO MANY HINTS. LIKE, OMG I CANNOT NOT IGNORE THEM. He watches a TON of Korean Dramas. He is Chinese (and I am Chinese). He knows Japanese (and I know a little myself). He knows Korean (I know a little bit of that too). GOOD GOD. I wish I could tell my best friend all of this, but I can't. And she hints to me how I never really talk about guys. "GURL, I WANNA TELL YOU. I REALLY WISH I COULD. BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO HATE ME. AND I DON'T WANT TO EFF UP OUR FRIENDSHIP."
(for once, I'm fangirling over a real guy omg omg omg omg omg omg omg omg)
There's so much internal struggle that I feel that if I hangout with her too much, my heart will explode.
When I realized I had liked him, I cried like crazy inside.
I couldn't sleep.
I couldn't eat with my BF like normally.
And when He comes around to say hi, I avoid looking at him.
But he likes someone else. That's what my BF told me. She said that she gave up on him because he told her that he liked someone else. Ends up that he likes her best friend (which is not me. its this happa girl from school). Apparently, this happa girl doesn't feel the same towards him. She thinks of him as an older brother. So yeah.
I think there is a slight chance that he and I could be something.
But I don't know what to do or how to make that happen.
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I miss LJ but I'm so lazy I couldn't bring myself to really write an entry on my journal... *sigh*
Anyway, hehe... Spring has come for you? Good luck with that boy... Though I couldn't help much about what to do and how too... I don't have much of experience myself... ^^;
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And its fall right now. I cant wait for spring. D: I don't know what to do with my crush. :l He likes someone else right now and I cannot compete with her. Thank you for the comfort ^^ Keep on tumblring!
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